mmmms. thursday was a gd day of retail therapy! :D
spent about 200 plus bucks!
hahaha. bought tops, nice shorts, a sling bag from kappa etc!
and i brought mommy to crystal jade for lunch and its her FIRST TIME THERE! lol.
and she was still saying,
tt 1 bowl of la mian isnt gonna be enough, end up she cant finish even when we shared hahahaha!
and thurs all the BCME pple ended! lol. congrats to benji, sean, sua and edmund! :)
ahhahaha. i think sua and ed are currently getting high at their class chalet and dancing the night away or smth lol!
i wish my class ended tog/early tooooo. =(
den we'll go sentosa and parrrtyyyyyy :P haiya.

yays friday! benji was such a dahling to ask us out for lunch!
(ok it was cos he had 1 on 1 lunch treats that end today but tts besides the point!)
hahaha. so yups, adora, ben, gw, ken and i went to billy bombers' :D
ok, i think tts like de only time i'll ever go there cos de food's ok only.
haha. :P but worth it when you pay half of the price :P
oh and next to billy bombers' ( we went marina sq) was a jap sushi/ice cream shop.
and my gosh, they pack a very very mean rum and raisin ice cream!
hahaha. its the first time ever tt i get the burning sensation on my tongue and a bittersweet aftertaste!
i would die to have irish bailey's ice cream.
oh SOMEONE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE :P hahaha.

val decided not to come in the end =( pooo. or i'd have let her try my rum and raisin and she will get HIGHER than flying thru air on Red Bull. which gives you wings btw. :X oops sorry haha.

yup. gd day overall. thanks ben! and also shuuy :D:D:D

woots! do you know how freedom feels like?! boy do i know :D
hahaha. after the crazy combi of math and econs IN ONE DAY
its over!!! lalalala. jiayou all others! hang in there!
esp shuuy, val, hoonie, clara, ken etc! you can do it! tell yourself tt.

i realised i told myself tt i can do it all 4 papers,
and it really helps!
my brain churned and clanged but it moved.
ok, still far from ready but yea. im trying for at least a C for every subject.
if i get below C for anything i'll be tremendously sad.
you have been forewarned. lol.

sometimes you make me happy :)
with the lil things you do for me, and all the thoughtfulness.
oh lord let me always rmber to be thankful because things should never be taken for granted.

wah! im finally back online haha.
yesterday's GP was weird la! all the funny politics/sci and tech topics that required hordes of fact-spouting.
lol and i nv read/touch/find my GP bulletin so ya.
haha i have no facts! lol. and i dun think im adept at cooking up examples unlike xun and sua lol.
so ya. did a screwed up answer of "do you agree the world'll be a better place if pple were rules more by logic, less by emotions?"
hahaha. quite crappy la but it was de most manageable one alr, w/o all de facts :P

lol. after GP met xun and sua. den xun suggested gg his house to study.
so in de end i pangseh adora (who probably would have alot to niao abt this *rolls eyes*) hahaha.
yup. xun's house is really really really ulu!!! walked so far in haha.
but i love de view from the window :D was sitting facing de windows doing work lol.
and the two of them were getting distracted surfing net etc haha.

oh well. spent loads of time on chem, but it was still so crappy!!!
ahhaha. even SEAN the S PAPER TAKER growled tt its hard, so gd for me, can go prepare for burial of my scripts when they come back. sure die lor!

hahahah. eunice ahhhh. u want a twin too? :P
ask K la horh lol. okok i shall have to go mug for the killer tml!
(ok i admit its not as bad as bio AND feeesics HAHAHA sorry shuuy, val etc)
butbutbut. math and econs is quite an ugly combi too.
esp at 5.20 with a stoned brain its so ugly its funny :P
lol im rambling yes. shall go mug!

ONE MORE AGONIZING DAY TO GLORIOUS FREEDOM!!!! :D:D:D

thank you, for overworking your body for my sake.
so sweet of you, to stay up till 3 plus to distract me and give me support!
thank you, for calling, and discussing w me how things are, to update me about stuff
thank you, for encouraging me past midnight, to shoo me off to bed
thank you, for popping by again, 4th time this week, jus to talk/mooching ard/keep me company. and also for busting my bill again, for another consecutive mth running lol.
thank you for the little things, that mean alot more than i'd like to admit.
thank you for your graciousness, and now my art's over, Thank God most of all for leading me thru all these, and having wonderful supportive pple ard me!

MEME from yinkae! :D

Part 1: The Birth of You
Were you a planned baby?: yup, for some time heh.
Were you the first?: and the only as well.
Were your parents married when you were born?: Yes.

Part 2: The Family
How would you describe your family?: hmmm. has its ups and downs i guess. hard to say
Are your parents still married?: Yes
Siblings or an only child?: happily alone :D
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?: -
Which parent do you get along with best?: DAD! definitely
What do you fight about?: hurhur. it can come from anything, believe me. from car rides to phone calls to coming home.
Do you have step parents?: No.

Part 3: The Friends
Do you have more than one best friend?: heh, like yinkae says, best is supposed to represent ONE. hmmm. but ya i have a few VEHVEHVEH gd frens!
Do you share the same interests?: few aspects, which are diff for diff ppl of cos! val - music, jo - art, eunice/edna - God, our lives etc, xinhui - slacking tog! shuuy/chryz w/o specifics haha. etc.
Which friend can you tell anything to?: val, xinhui, and piggies! and of cos XUAN!

Part 4: Your Personality
How high/low is your self esteem?: it kinda flucuates, but not v high i think.
Do you get depressed about things easily?: hmmm. only sometimes, when i think too much. haha.
Are you an extrovert or an introvert?: uhhh. there's no definite parameters, but i think im towards de more friendly/outgoing person? ahaha. dunno.
Happy?: pple lift me up, and pple get me down.
Do you live life to the fullest?: I try to live w/o regrets, even if it means following tt strange impulse :)

Part 5: Appearance
Are you comfortable with the way you look?: im FAT.
Do you have any piercings besides your ears?: yes! hehehe.
Describe your hair?: going everywhere whenever the wind blows bleagh.
How do you dress?: tee and jeans/shorts. i want more collar tees/tank tops/skirts SOMEONE :P

Part 6: The Past
Were you a strange child?: strange as in different? i guess quite a bit.
What did you use to love that you no longer do?: Ride on swings in the evening/ playing catching on bikes ard the heartland neighbourhoods.
Do you have the same friends?: church frens yea! other than tt... still kept some pri sch frens, have my wonderful sec sch GEPPERS! <3!
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?: quite a few, some which i overcame! like fear of swimming pools hahhaa!
Were you ever disowned by a family member?: no. the family's kinda too small? :P

Part 7: The Future
What is your ambition?: To live for God!
Are you scared of growing old?: always was, still is, kinda.
Do you want to get married?: hmmm. not sure, esp the commitment part hahaha.

Part 8: The Outdoors
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: Outdoors when the sun's out! or its pouring and im on a bike :D
What is your favorite season?: i think fall's the most beautiful, but summer's the most fun!
Favorite weather?: either sunny w/o scorch, or misty rainy days.
Do you like walking in the rain?: YES! very much.

Part 9: Food
Are you a vegetarian?: nope, but yinghong is! haha
What's your fav. food?: i quite like western, sushi, THAI OMG, and exotic stuff. dun like ur typical chinese cuisine :S
What food makes you want to gag?: those that smell pungent (pungent's definition follows tt of O level chem! haha), and those tt are so smokey/charred/ too oily or sweet. esp SWEET AND OIL URGH.
What is your favorite dessert?: TIRAMISU, always and forever.
What is your favorite restaurant?: i love a few! like fish and co! or maybe marche :D
Are you a picky eater?: ya, quite haha.

Part 10: Relationships and Love
Are you single or taken?: single, for now :P
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: haha. sometimes la. :)
Believe in love at first sight?: no. tt's never love.

went for asian film archive, the seminar.
it was quite gd, helped quite alot to prepare me for my film making.
yup, Thank God for the good day! :D

yesterday talked to ken, so now feel better.
i stayed up till 3am talking to him! and doing art, of cos.
still have abt half to do :S urgh.
may the Lord give me strength and focus!
i shall do this for His glory =)

i know v well we both need personal space,
its just tt, sometimes.

ya, im sorry. i'll try and make sure tt it doesnt happen again.
or we'll be heading for a burn out.
so tired all these days.

有些事一旦错过就挽回不了
你就不用麻烦了
我不想为你.回头.

hmmm. art paper's past, Thank God!
urgh, dunno how itd turn out... this naggy feeling i wasnt v detailed.
and apparently i took the hardest questions arnd -.-

studied w val, and talked alot w juniors hahaha.
i think they're so cute, a COUPLE of them :P
lol. daddy was nice today! cooking dinner, sending me to sch etc.
Thank God for dad! :) and mom's safe and sound so tts gd too :)

piggies are back! i missed them.
so tell me bout life and i'll update you on mine too!
some things shouldnt be mentioned on the blog :P

i visited that place i had forsaken for quite a long time.
and somehow whatever ken was saying, they dealt icy blast that turned me cold, worried, and made me so tensed.
because there alluded events only we know, so much so i cannot help but listen to shifty intuition whatever he said was referring to me.
explicitly that trip, and technical terms i'd know so well, and a million other little things.
why. why havent you ever told me, and then things may have been different, that we wont have relegated the situation to what it is today. yet i know, and still do that given a time turner things wont change. you are adamant to what you believe, and somehow we've construct this partially permeable screen between us that just got thicker as days went by.
i wished, somehow you were at farewell. if you were, id have passed that thread to you. because of so much that i have to say to you, to thank you for listening out, and what a pity that we just kind of drifted apart cos that wasnt what i wanted. somewhere the connection was broken, that resulted in neglect and carelessness. Pls forgive me, i hope that it isnt too late to gather your wisps of cobwebs and spin new ones to strengthen them. these creatures dont give up just cos someone broke their webs once, twice. they come back with greater determination, understanding of circumstances, and pray the threads hold.
really hope we'll still be good friends like last times.

shuuy asked me to put up my wishlist!
so here goes:
(in no order of preference la)
- JJ's 4th album: caocao
- nice denim/any type of shorts
- new funky pencilcase
- a whole album of notes/photographs of relevant people and events
- new phone (HAHAHAHA)
- new earphones!!!!!!!! (preferably retracts)
- black/dark blue jeans (with slight fading?)

actually anything else would be fine, even if its just a good time and a hug. :)
BUT i dont want food. NO FOOD thanks :P

thank you choir, for everything.
wont say no regrets, but its been a memorable journey thus far.
and thank you all, for making it special your own way.

we had farewell today... thanks edmund for chionging ms lim's gift at 7 plus w me today. mad rush but we kinda finished... :P
handover was surreal, its like we just stepped up yesterday, a very long ago yesterday, and now we've passed the baton on.
thank you sarah and yvonne, for the massagers! :P
or vibrators as adora insisted they're called! lol... :D

thank you juniors for the lovely cap, great movie by zhongwei, wonderful lunch and a mean curry by zhikang! thanks sop juniors for de foot sock, and all the past times. i will really miss all of you very much!

thank you j2s, for various lil notes and gifts. it was an arduous journey, but we found our music. a lil too late, sad to say cos of our passiveness. but hey, we made it yes? thanks for making this choir exp so unique, with m'sia trip, myriad, syf, carolling, aspiration. thanks, for voices in flight to pursue our dreams.

the string thing made me v touched. order of passing:
Gw > Val > me > joce > adora > benji > emmett > linx > yidan > nicole > shawna > jan > shups > mel > gongyue > yihui > sua > guanhan > junwei > sean > edmund > qian > sumin > chunkai > jonny > nik > yingfen > gw

royal blue yarn tt i will really treasure. val i didnt exactly like tt colour at first, but now i love it so much cos its so dark and rich and because now it has added significance.

thank you comm! we walked so far, endured so much, been thru hell and learnt alot! thanks to every single one, who made this walk painful yet giving reason to walk on.

anyway now i can reveal de presents i gave to pple!

sop sls: notebook and chocs from cocoa tree!
sop j1: kinder bueno eggs cos they're our babies!
Sop j2: scented seabreeze candles, cos they light up my life.
j1: all got a note, coloured by section.

sean got a coffe MUG. cos he loves coffee and he's a mugger lol.
edmund got a new pencil case, from converse, cos his billabong one is old alr.
nicole got a bookmark with her letter N!
guowei and emmett got choc pastiles double flavour in each piece, and a sesame street character each!
linx got a pooh and friends towel, cos its de most frequent hug i can give her after we part ways.
adora, lip balm from skin food for her sexy lips! hahah.
shawna got her orange soap! :D
sua i ended up giving him football puzzle, this yr's edition hahaa. its almost sold out so i hope he's happy w it. wanna thank him also for his 3 v v heartfelt msgs tt im gonna keep forever :)
val!!!! i hope you love your Perhaps Love vcd. im sososososo GLAD you dont have it hahaha. but pls watch only after BT! and thanks loads for giving me de thread. :)v v moved! yea... friends for LIFE and i love you.

thank you Lord. its been a joyride and i hope juniors like jonny continue our legacy of prayer group,together with suet and huiying and others? :]

yesterday i was walking ard with edmund
stepped into a shop tt was playing wang lee hom's Ni Bu Zai.
and something inside knotted. dont ask me why i dont know.

Ed asked me a few questions
which i dont have answers to, and it really hurt inside, somehow.
i guess some things, you have to learn to get used to.
oh well we shall see how things will go after tml.
there's no more choir, no more contact with so many people
and this will really test how strong ties forged during the past 1 yr and half are.

i think i can just forget about studying
my past 2 days were spent in shopping frenzy, and getting ms lim's stuff done.
down the drain goes my art paper.

sometimes you just have to tell yourself not to cry over such things.
its not worth it. bu zhi de.

had choir handover meeting today.
we passed the baton,finally... and the feeling hasnt really sink in, not yet.
maybe on friday, but im not planning to cry.
unless someone from j2 batch makes me cry.

went shopping today, with edmund.
thanks so much edmund, for all the wonderful help, crazy suggestions and lame jokes.
you made me really really happy today hahahaha.
although we were super tired from combing both wisma and taka EVERY SINGLE FLOOR EVERY SINGLE SHOP lol!!!
but i got my sop notebooks, he got his bass sls gifts! and zhexi's gift at taka. =)
then we journeyd down to PS!
ahahhaha. bought ms lim's gift (tt was the most painful for us, everywhere we went it wasnt suitable!)
den we got sean stuff, got sua stuff (after much debate, and im still not convinced entirely i wont regret this. most probly i will, very very much)
den ed and i sat at the food court and planned till 9pm how we're gonna do up tt album, get manpower and allocate work etc.
hai.

really really feel so grateful to edmund, for his not complaining tt he's super tired though i know he is. for all the lame jokes etc, and ideas, and pulling through with me. Thank God i have such a great brother to share the burden with! somehow my own twin doesnt match up at all... hurhur. i dunno sometimes im just really tired of all his showiness and how he doesnt carry out what he tells me. tt just makes me very annoyed, on the verge of disappointment. or maybe not verge, but beyond.
oh well. edmund rocks, tts all can i say. knew it since june last year in malaysia :P
sigh. i dun have to study alr, whole day chiong choir album.

damn, why cant anyone be more proactive. in the end im still settling everything for EVERYONE and sometimes i just feel like there's no worth to that. who cares about you doing all the shit work anyway.
and that just drains what remaining positivity from my heart through a pinhole;
just like a faucet that leaks, there's no turning back.

went to sch today for art room duty
and woke up at wrong time -.-
i was 2 hours too early, went to sch 1 hour early, and best thing was, miss kee was late :P
hahaha.
oh well....
yup. had a gd time with my classmates today.

at night, went to ocs social night.
i found it damn boring, but yea... no choice sat thru it lor. lol
i saw eching and her classmate junjie!
den met shaun tan and beekee gosh.
i was half expecting another person to turn up :P lol.
(oh btw all relevant pple who were from senior class keep it to yourselves. )
yea... hurhur. eye opener though, so yea.

THANK YOU SOSOSOSOSO MUCH VAL DEAR.
even though you were dead tired... wow.
i was super touched when i got home, and thought about how i could count on your no matter wad and tt really made me v happy!
thanks loads babe!

thank you geok for the testimony yesterday
i found it v meaningful! =D
and also thanks jiayan for talking and sharing, to encourage me for my remaining JC sprint!
hehe. im gonna realign my directions too :)

mugging spreeeeee. hahahaha.
i need to cover all my art history this week, once through, hopefully got time for 2nd round.
i need to do my art research drawings, and come up with smth deeper centred arnd flux (thanks val for ideas!)
i need to finish writing all my notes for j2s cos i havent started and next week's a busy week!
i need to cover math complex numbers and trigo and differentiation this week.
i need to finish studying organic chem, whole if it.
i need to get my remaining presents, and prepare for busybusybusy week ahead.

BUT. most importantly i need to get back to God.
yup so im gonna start! from today =)
i pray tt God will give me discipline and a focused mind in everything tt i do!

talking with hoonie made me realise how far away from God i was.
too caught up with being with people, distracted to listen to what He has to say to me.
time to wake up, and realise that He's never far away
and to turn back, cos i know i cant do it alone.

i rmber what Linxin wrote to me
which was quite poignant.
oh well, shall go shower and get ready to go out for service hehe.
have a good day all!

"by placing God first, you wont have other distractions!"

good job alvin! lol. hope you keep it up the rest of this looonnnggg study break :P
oh, eunice also! hahaha. jiayou! =)
today went to ngee ann poly to eat lunch and brought val along!
lol. we ate at jieling's parents' stall, yummmmm. hahahaha.
den still bought desserts and a bag of BUNS to eat! BLEAGH.
i.am.such.a.PIG sometimes (YES eunice i can predict wad rubbish you'd say abt my being a pig :P)
but it was quite fun hahaha.

ok i really think my progress is damn slow. urgh. have posted on the shared of how ive been doing so far.
bleagh... mostly wasting my time looking at the scenery hahaha.
oh talking abt scenery,
this morning i ran and just managed to avoid de rain, Thank God! cos no umbrella i was lazy to bring haha.
sitting at the 4th level staring out at the central plaza and field...
it was misty and the torrential rain looked a wintry beauty dancing with the singing wind. incessantly wistful as it tore along the brick-red roof tiles.
rain makes me happy! cos i love the weather and the coldness :D

i was better today, thanks val!
yest, went to watch xmen 3 with chryz! :)
we really enjoyed NYDC food! hehehehe.
SHUUY! you're next you better go out w me soon!

im left w 3 pple's gifts to buy lol.
go me! :D

ok. studied w val in sch today!
we crashed ken's bench ahhahaha.
den she came my house to eat!
lol... so fun! we must do tt more often! (after blocks tt is haha)
yea :D

i need to buck up! really really really slow.
even pple like liwei thinks so. hurhur.
14 qns in a day :X
i nearly made sua panick today (HAHAHA) cos i told him de wrong topics for econs.
den he was like CRAP IM SO SCREWED.
ok ya my fault. hurhurhur.
ya anyhow. we shall mug harder!
jiayou all my dearies!

have you ever had days when you just wanted to curl up inside yourself and cry and die, some days i do and its just a terrible feeling within, even if there's no actual manifestation of insanity. poison in my veins, that's what you are, that was what i said. you're the morphine i cant do without.
and well. nothing's changed, much. oh, of course its better outwardly but the obsidian mist within just condenses and threatens to crowd over. and there's only one person who can save me from drowning helplessly, hello please hear me. as much as part of me is utterly fascinated at the idea of how deep you can sink in this watery abyss, the brain screams at the heart to wakeupgetalife. you know somewhere this aint what you want, dont you, this is why you pray every night you'd see better days.

so draw aside those curtains and let the light in.

thank you terence!
for all the trouble coming down to teach me chem :P
helped me get my concepts clearer haha.
now i just need LOADS of practice!

met eunice and ken to try and study.
hurhurhur.
end up buying loads of stuff for choir farewell :X
i got val's stuff alr :D:D
and emmett, gw, j2 sops, shawna, nicole.
left with adora, benji, edmund, sua, sean, ken, linx.
and my j1 sops and the rest of de j2s. hahaha. but these are easy.
its alot actually. but i finished bout half.
i think me feet hate me alot.
ive been abusing them for straight few hours. for many days.
and still thinking of running tml.

there'll be someone gg with me on wed afterall.
haha. val was so annoying cos she cant go w me.
but nvm i still love you lots hahahahaa.

i need to progress on my work!
someone scream/shout/yell at or if you're nicer warn/remind/reprimand me.

bleagh.
a very very draining day of choir exco interviews!
but yest was fun...
last choir prac, we just sat arnd and recorded songs
then sang and sang and no one wanted to leave. hahaha.
but well. it was 2 slack days of having done nothing :P
i need to start mugging soon! hehe.

im quite excited about getting my gifts! hahaha.
hopefully i wont go broke completely after tt.
pple have been advising me to revise my budget and gifts :X
shall see how!